Pity party post

This is not my pity party ..well ok it is a pity party by extension

Angela's doc appointment that led to her crappy ass long day and the beautiful slide show that she used to distract herself has been on my mind

We all know I am old ..and not in great shape but physically in comparison to my dear friend I am a freaking marathon runner ..I am not stronger (real big wussy here with a bad case of the sniffles nursing it for all it is worth) but physically I am healthier.

Angela has so much shit wrong with her young body it boggles my mind I get all stupid looking when she starts talking about her health issues because I cannot come up with anything to fix it...

and it pisses me off

My friend has several autoimmune issues too damn many for me to remember correctly or to do them any justice (I am addle brained even on my best days and damnit I have the sniffles so coherent thought is GONE) but lets just say this

she is in pain

she is medicated and the medicines are not working all that great(thank you FDA if the shit that works does not come on the market for her soon she and I are blowing this joint and heading to Europe to get the good stuff!)

and she has something that could unless gotten under control could take her away from me her husband and her kids (notice selfish bitch I am I put MY NAME first)

We went to lunch today cause we needed to get away from most of it..(we still ended up taking her 2 girls I love girl days WHOOT WHOOT) and while chatting we started talking about some things

aside from her irritation at her new diagnosis (my AJ is not a teary girl that is one of her strengths I cry at every thing so I really love that she can keep a level head while I am bawling a fucking baby)

we talked about potential

Both of us are bright and talented young..ish women we both had dreams that life kinda got in the way of

among those dreams Travel is a big one

we want to see places and giggle and be silly and well strange and make others happy with our presence

The thing that frightens me most is that I might loose someone who is precious to me even if she does not die (she is not dying or on her damn death bed for heavens sake I am such a damn drama queen) but what IF one of her health issues makes it hard for her travel? (come on drama queen much? YES YES I DO)


What pisses me off the most about this is it is not as if she and I do not have enough crap standing in our way of our dream vacation (which alternates between London and LA we have not chosen for certain yet) between kids her job our hubbys both of whom think we are crazier than normal for wanting to travel across the country to go sit our butts in a bar in the silly hope that we would see HIM (we are realistic we know it probably would not fucking happen)

as of right now we probably have enough money to get out of the state

if we pack lunches ... sorry y'all I have been to Iowa and it is not all that fascinating (got lost once driving through Plattville I made the mistake of blinking)

SO MY POINT

yes damnit I have one

CARPE FUCKING DIEM

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